Today I wanted to write about attending my kids Christmas concert in America for the 13th day of Christmas blogmas.
While I was working on the content it was dinner time and the kids said they didn’t like the dinner I had pre-made. They didn’t ask me for another one but seeing them eating bread and cereal was breaking my heart (p.s nothing is wrong with kids eating bread and cereal for dinner but I’m a big softy and I hate that I’m that way). So I went to start cooking something I knew they would definitely eat. A hot dinner. While trying to cook, the baby started crying and she won’t stay in her playpen, high chair or even allow the siblings to hold her. I had to carry her. Now that she’s getting bigger and longer, I don’t like carrying her in the front while cooking because one little knee jerk around hot frying oil could be dangerous. So I had to put her on my back.
While I was carrying her on my back and cooking, my back started aching. Then I remembered the deadline I had, the emails to send. I have a side business that isn’t related to blogging or instagram and I had to send something off in the next hour, my oldest daughter wanted to know where HER laptop was (I mean you used it last) and my son wanted help with his homework and suddenly I started feeling like I couldn’t breathe. It was all too much at that time.
In the midst of it all, all I could think about was that I’m sure I’m not the only mother feeling this way. Tomorrow morning I will dress up go for a lunch date, take a picture and post it and I look happy, perfect and collected. In as much as that is true, but at the moment, it was far from the truth. Normally it is hard to remember that picture takes just two seconds. Your smile and happiness is captured at that moment. The rest and previous times could be the same or totally different. In other words, we all loose our sheet* sometimes.
Don’t get me wrong not all days are like that. Maybe if they had eaten their dinner it won’t have been that way. Maybe if their dad was home from work to help it won’t have been that way. Maybe if I was a millionaire and have a full time nanny and probably a cook it won’t have been that way.
So I decided to not write about the winter concert today. There is going to be another one on Monday so that’s ok. I decided to start a new segment on the blog called “You are Not Alone Mama”. In this segments I will be posting real unadulterated feelings about motherhood and wifeyhood (if that’s a word). This is so that you know that you are not alone in your journey through motherhood. What you are feeling is not irrelevant. Many great women go through it on a daily basis. Even those with all the help go through psychological torture of guilt and feeling like they are not good enough.
Some of us have mastered ways of coping overtime. Like soldiers we are constantly on survival mode. My best friend always says she doesn’t know how I do it all. It’s not a choice for me. But like every soldier, we have our moments too.
Sometimes I would share things and ways of coping. One way to have coped with this evening experience was to order fast food meals for the family. Not having to cook would have taken that pressure away like 90%. Cooking is one of the hardest for us moms because it’s not just about giving the kids food it’s about the guilt of the kind of food. Is it healthy enough? Are they getting their nutritional quotas? You would have to shop (even online takes a while) prepare and cook the food and you do it day in day out. When it’s only you, it is exhausting. I have ordered pizzas and McDonald’s a few times because full tummy is better than no tummy. And as I was about to say just get that fast food I remembered the food service I was sponsored to post on my instagram account the other day.
The truth is I don’t have to talk about it here on the blog. But because I used it and it was indeed good and because of the promotion of getting a discount I’m going to. The service is called Yumble. They delivered home cooked nutritious meals straight to your door and you can have a two weeks worth in the fridge. Mistake I made was only doing it for the baby. For a 30% discount you can use the code: THELONDONMOM30 at checkout. Like I said I don’t have to mention the service here but they are the only one I’m currently working with to get discount for my mamas and papas (or if you just want cooked food!). I am sure there are other food delivery services out there. Taking that burden away from you is one way to cope in this crazy but wonderful journey of motherhood.